My wishes tag.

so i first saw this tag on CutiepieMarzia’s channel and i really like it so i thought i would give it a try.

1. What do you wish you knew when you were younger?

I kind of wish i appreciated primary school more than i did because i just couldn’t wait to grow up when I’m now realising how fast time actually goes. so i guess i knew that i should take advantage of being younger because everyone gets their turn to be older but we only get one chance at being young.

2. Where do you wish you could live?

i quite like living here in England since there aren’t any dangerous or massive spiders or other things like that but i really like the idea of living in a city like London or by the seaside. Sometimes it can be quite boring living in the middle of an island with nothing special really happening so a busy place like London seems like a really exciting place to live even though it is quite expensive.

3. What is the one thing you wish you could do?

I wish i wasn’t so afraid of things, for example, heights. i love the idea of roller coasters and climbing up high but when i get there i feel as if I’m going to fall over for no apparent reason, its ridiculous. i don’t want to be afraid but for some reason i just am, and thats really annoying for me.

4. What would you wish to be better at?

I wish i was more determined and better at committing to things. there are so many hobbies that i have just given up on because i was bored and i could’ve done well in them. I kind of just gave up and thats something i regret.

i also wish i was more secretive because, if I’m honest, I’m kind of an open book and that frustrates me. I’m fine with keeping other peoples secrets, its just my own that i have trouble with.

5. What did you wish to become when you were little?

When i was little, i remember wanting to be a vet for a long time. i used to wake up super early every morning and go downstairs to watch tv. at that time, there was nothing that decent ever on and i found that i would watch vet programmes, with surgery and everything, every single morning. in the end, i think i decided against becoming a vet because i didn’t think i would want to inject an animal. so i gave up on that idea; good job really because I’m hopeless at science.

6. Is there anything you wish you could change about the world?

I think I’ve written about this in a post before but sometimes i wish that some people were not allowed to live on this Earth because of the evil that they commit. People who ambush and torture or even murder innocent people without a second thought about the pain that they cause don’t deserve to be alive. most humans have good inside of them, whether it is buried deep or right at the surface. People who commit inhumane crimes like the ones we have seen in our world cannot be human because there is nothing human about what they do.

7. What is your “biggest wish”?

I was really tempted to miss out this question because I am so unsure of what the answer is. All i can think of is that i wish that, in the future, i will have a family like the one i am in now where everyone is kind of on the right track and we all support one another. I love my family and my dogs and my cat and i hope i can have a family of my own just like that one day.

i hope you have enjoyed this post, feel free to do this tag if you want to.

time goes too fast!

so mocks are coming up and its kind of scary how fast this year has gone. Lately i feel like i have been very short of time and I’m pretty sure that most people in the same place as me kind of feel the same way. i guess because time goes so fast its like there can never be enough, especially when there is a deadline approaching.

even though I’m excited for a lot of things like being able to drive and getting a house and other things like that, Im kind of scared of growing up and i guess thats okay because everyone has to do it. the thing is, when you grow up, you just get older and older and then wam bam your going to die soon. i think the reality of how short life really is set in the other day and it kind of freaked me out.

something that i have recently been trying to make time for is sleep. with all the exams and other things going on, sleep is a big priority because it means i can go into school the next day awake and ready to learn. even when i manage to get a decent nights sleep I’m ready for a nap by the end of the next day so when I don’t I’m practically falling asleep in lessons. in my opinion, having a decent nights sleep and making sure you’re drinking water throughout the day is the best way to keep alert and learn as much as you can.

due to upcoming exams and the idea that one day I’m actually going to have to grow up, i sometimes feel as if i cannot look forward to things. i don’t know if I’m the only person who feels like this but it kind of sucks, especially if something great is coming up. for example, christmas is soon but i just want this week to freeze so i can get in some revision. i know that i have to get through two more weeks and then i can look forward to christmas. after that i have more exams to face. something I’ve realised about this is that trying to distract yourself from these things kind of sucks sometimes and to be honest, you have to do everything you can to keep yourself happy.

it is very important to prioritise, i think.

1. revise

2. sleep

3. keep yourself in a good mood.

in my opinion, if you are in a positive mindset, you can achieve a lot more because even though constant work sucks, you kind of feel happy/good about yourself at the same time. even little things can make a difference. for example, i like keep my room tidy because otherwise i start to stress out and also i tend to do whatever I’m in the mood to do. i have painted my nails a few times which made me feel better and i even took a break from revising to bake a vegan chocolate cake. whatever it is, sometimes you should just take a break and improve your mindset by making yourself feel better and then you can go back and continue to learn with a fresh perspective.

(I’m sorry i haven’t been putting a blog post up every wednesday and sunday, been slightly short on time)

it’s inevitable

this week, I suddenly became very aware of the inevitability of life. it is inevitable that I’m going to do my exams and that I’m going to have to get a job and then (hopefully a few decades after I get my first job) I will inevitably die.
even though life is unpredictable, it doesn’t stop moving forward for anyone. we have a very limited life and that life is spent being in education, then getting a job, then staying in that job until you are old enough to retire which is now at around the age of 70ish. I think it’s a shame that money is such an overbearing weight for most of the world and that means they can’t go out and do what they want to most.
how is it that you cannot live your life because of needing money to live it?
we are all lucky, there is always someone who’s having a worse day than us even though it may not feel like it. maybe you fell out with all of your friends and got dumped, I’m not gonna lie, that really sucks and I’m sorry, however, there is also a starving child somewhere on the brink of dying from malnutrition or someone suffering from cancer is taking a turn for the worst.
what makes life so scary is that sometimes we wish it to go faster, we hope the day will feel more like an hour and that friday will come straight after Monday. there are also times where time could never be slow enough.
something that scares me about inevitability is that there is no escaping it. it’s like we’re trapped. for example, you could be afraid of needles and you have to get a jab, you have no way out, there is no way that will not happen and you know that and that is what makes it so frightening.
I guess it’s a waste of time being afraid of inevitability because (and I say this because I can think of no better words) it is inevitable. there is no way of avoiding death and we can only accept that, although I’m not quite sure anyone really does, that’s okay though because you cannot fully accept something you know nothing about.
I don’t really know what the point of this blog post really was but I hope it has made some people think, I feel like to help some people become more aware of life slipping through their fingers the best way is to think about something like this.

halloween Elphaba costume

so halloween is coming up and i am really really excited. In this post i will be showing you how to recreate this elphaba look, i know i found it really fun to do. this look is really simple and also really effective, also it is really strange being green like the wicked witch of the west!

for this look, i am wearing a simple black, turtle neck dress from boohoo.com. Underneath, i am wearing just a long sleeved black shirt and black tights just so i dont have to paint my whole arms aswell as my face, neck and hands. for my hair, i just pulled it into a simple plait, it doesnt have to be neat. if you want, you can wear a black wig to make the look more accurate.

next, you need a light green face paint; i used the classic colours snazaroo face and body paint in lime green and i used a damp sponge just to apply that all over my face and neck, not forgetting my ears. make sure to paint your neck to where your shirt/dress collar starts so you don’t have any skin showing. also make sure your sponge isnt too wet because that means your facepaint will go streaky and wont look as good.

Then, add dimension to your face with a darker green face paint, i used the same snazaroo face and body paint but in the shade dark green. i applied this as a contour for my nose and cheeks with the sponge. to make sure the darker colours arent too harsh, dab some more of the lime green colour over the edges and over the darker colour so it is noticeable but also blends in better.

Next, i am going to do my eyes. the eyes for this look are really simple and you can add things and take things away depending on the look you are trying to achieve. i just took a black eyeshadow (you can use a black facepaint if you want to) and used that with a fluffy brush over the outer corner of my eye lid and blended it through the crease; i also took some of it under my eye to cover any of it i missed with the green. I then applied some mascara and moved onto my eyebrows. since i had covered them with green paint, i decided to fill in my eyebrows with the black eyeshadow.

for my lips, i simply painted them with the dark green face paint and thats the face completed. The final step is to paint your hands or any other exposed pieces of skin green. the paint does come off on all kinds of furniture and clothes so beware when you are touching things even though i found it was really easy to remove from these things and also i didnt go into school the next day with green all over me.

and that is the whole look completed. I hope you enjoyed this and that some of you can now recreate this Elphaba look. I also filmed a video of me singing ‘The Wizard and I’ from Wicked, i hope you like it. sorry its a bit out of time at parts, i was too loud for the music.

heres the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tu-RzUK_F0E&list=UUWE5jIGnzQoSsT7JHBLdScA

rejection

if you didn’t know, I really enjoy musical theatre, this means I have to deal with rejection a lot. in this industry it is really important that you try not to let things bother you, like when someone dislikes your voice or something about you or even just decides you aren’t right for a role. it is good to try and move on without being put off or giving up.

however, things like these aren’t the only times in life that we can feel rejected because, of course, not everyone is interested in that kind of thing. some examples of these can be when you are looking for a job or even when you want to enter into a relationship and the other person doesn’t feel the same way. whatever the situation, rejection makes us feel pretty crap, and that’s okay because we’re human and no one expects us to just brush it off and move on straight away. if we feel passionate about something then it obviously is important to us and when someone moves on straight away after trying to achieve something, it shows it can’t have meant that much in the first place.

it is important to remember that there is a right place and time for everything and everyone gets a fair shot at life. if something doesn’t turn out the way we want that probably means there is something even more beneficial and exciting round the corner.

I know that I have dealt with rejection a lot, both through performing and through other aspects of life and I know I can’t say that I can now move on easily straight away, it’s still frustrating and I still get upset, but I have learnt that all things happen for a reason and I should just wait it out and try again and never even consider giving up. if I did, I would be depriving myself of my potential and all my hard work would have been for nothing.

I hope this can help some people who feel rejected and like they’re missing out on the only thing they want to do. there is most probably something new round the corner, never give up because that means you are depriving yourself and the world of all that you have to offer.

getting away

the other day I went to a little place between Whitby and Scarborough called Robin hoods bay for my dad to do a charity bike ride.
at first, I didn’t really want to go because it would mean missing a day of school and I couldn’t be bothered to miss it (I know, that makes no sense) but I was persuaded and I actually am glad that I was. while I was there, I realised how good it feels to get away from all the urgency and busy-ness of life and to escape to somewhere different and calm.
the hotel wait was surreal to wake up to a view of the sea because it was as if I had forgotten something so magnificent existed. each morning I would wake up and look out the window and be stunned by the view.

it was also a get away that included a few firsts for me. for example, I decided to try being a vegetarian and I had to go to numerous restaurants avoiding my usual safe option of a burger and resisting a full English every morning. despite everything, it wasn’t that difficult and I’m glad I tried it during that time because I had lots of tasty dishes I wouldn’t have dared to try before.
I also fell in love with the decaf coffee in the room. i had never tried actual coffee before, only lattes and cappuccinos so it was a real change, but a good one.
overall the get away was very rewarding and I think when you are feeling stressed or overwhelmed, that is the best thing to do. see some new things, breathe some new air and I guarantee you will feel better.

‘Dracula untold’ movie review

so the other day I went to the cinema to watch the new Dracula movie. it stared Luke Evans and was directed by Gary Shore.

the film is about a man called vlad, nicknamed the impaler, who is the prince. when the emperor demands for a tribute of 1000 boys to be sent to war. vlad finds that he has to find a way to protect his kingdom and save the boys from a terrible upbringing in war. this leads him to turn to darker powers for an answer to his problems.

I really enjoyed this film although it’s not something I would usually watch. the film is rated a 15 because of violence and horror but I didn’t think it was that scary, just slightly gory in places. in my opinion, I think the trailers before the film were much scarier than the actual thing.

the film actually had quite a nice story to it at points and was very interesting, I was gripped the whole way through. in a way, you can sympathise with vlads character even though he can be viewed as something evil. also, the cliffhanger ending leaves you wanting more and leads me to believe there could be a second Dracula film on the way.

Writing songs

okay so i am the first to admit that i am not the best at writing songs, that is one of the two reasons i dropped gcse music. for some reason, my songs always sound weird and like an 8 year old has written them or something. however. that doesn’t mean i don’t keep trying to write them and they are all something i regret posting on the internet when i look back on them but for some reason i still keep posting new ones. i wrote this song just because i discovered some chords that i liked (I’m not even sure they’re actual chords) but I’m sorry if my guitar sounds bad because i have to change a string and i don’t know how.

its not the best but it is an attempt i guess, so i hope you enjoy. it is called ‘some stupid game’.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Cv8b85hzmo&list=UUWE5jIGnzQoSsT7JHBLdScA

p.s I’m sorry my voice is all dodgy at the moment, i had a cold and my voice broke lol fun.

 

we are so lucky

okay so this blog post is going to get a little deeper than usual but i just have realised how lucky i am. i can only speak for myself when i say that i have lived my life without much difficulty, i havent felt the impact of any massive loss or pain in my life. I have never had someone i love in a devastating car accident or even broken a bone. Of course i have been through my fair share of hard times but that is nothing compared to what some people have to endure every single day of their life.

the other day, my mum and i were in the car on the motorway and there was an accident so we were stuck in a massive traffic jam for ages. when we passed the accident we knew things were bad because of the messy state that the cars were in and how they were surrounded with ambulances and a fire engine, there was also an air ambulance crew there, their helicopter in the field next to the motorway. in that moment, i realised how lucky i really was.

also, im sure everyone has heard about what is happening in Iraq and Syria with people being mercilessly killed. for example, the man who went to those countries to provide aid for those who were suffering. this is such a brave, selfless act and i dont know how he couldve found the courage to do such a thing, knowing he could be risking his life. to find that he was apparently kidnapped and beheaded is horrible. people always say that the world isnt always good or nice, but this is sick and unfair.

another thing that most people have probably heard about are the stories of sexual abuse in the youtube community that have recently surfaced. i cant understand what it must be like for a mind to function in a way that justifies murder or touching another person without their consent. to force someone into a situation that they cannot control is an awful thing to do. something like sexual abuse can ruin peoples lives, it can make a lasting effect on a person and prevent them from becoming the person they want to be. the worst thing is, some people never feel remorse for these acts, they talk themselves into thinking it was consented or they were given the wrong impression when actually it was just plain wrong and deep down they know it. in the youtube community, some people misused the power that they had and broke the trust that they had with their viewers. for someone who looks up to a certain person, to find that that person has committed a crime like this, it is difficult to know who to trust.

this blog post has turned into a rant but i just wanted to stress how difficult it is becoming at the moment for people to know who to trust and also know what is the right thing to do. sometimes we find that doing the right thing means we are punished and we know how recently that resulted in someones life being brutally taken away, but does that make it any less right? there are good people in our world, and thats why when something horrible happens, we all support one another and show support and kindness even when murder and other similar crimes are constantly happening just next door. for now, even when we are having a rubbish day and nothing is going our way it is important to remember how we are all very very lucky to have our lives.

September favourites

i can’t believe the month of September is already over, i decided to try a favourites post and its kind of random but i hope you enjoy.

okay so my first favourite is something i have loved throughout the whole of September and that is Ariana Grande’s new album,’my everything’. I really connected with some of the songs and i really enjoyed the whole album. some of my favourite songs are probably ‘Why try’ and ‘Best mistake’. the album features some really talented artists and i really like how Ariana had a range of different styled songs on the album, the whole thing is so different for her but i really enjoyed it.

(please excuse my cracked phone)

my second favourite is a beauty favourite and that is the Rimmel lasting finish 25 hour foundation in the nude collection. I have it in the shade, 100 ivory. this foundation is really easy to apply, i just use my hands, and it blends in really well. i find that although it is a medium coverage foundation, i can build it up if i need to or just add concealer and that is enough. I’m not sure if it really lasts for 25 hours but i certainly lasts a long time. i find that it lasts a whole school day and that is really helpful so i don’t look really gross at the end of the day.

the next one is kind of random but it links to my challenge of drinking more water. i have really loved blackcurrant squash for if i need a little more flavour. i don’t really know what else to say except for the stronger the better so double concentrate is an even better choice.

another beauty favourite is my maybelline colour sensation lipstick in 725- tantalising taupe. i have worn this lipstick for quite a while now and i really like the shade. however, the lipstick can sometimes be difficult to apply or get rubbed off easily during a day and have to be reapplied. i think it is a really nice nude lipstick to wear everyday for more of a simple look suitable for school or work.

my last September favourite probably should have been my favourite a long time ago. the other week, i was introduced to the movie ‘Dirty Dancing’ and i really enjoyed it. the movie in itself is a classic and i can now see why. i am one of those people that, when i watch a new film and really love it, i watch it over and over again until i get bored and move onto another. i think i have watched this film probably five times already between now and the other week because the storyline is really interesting and cute but also edgy in places.

so those have been the kind of things i have loved in September, i hope you have enjoyed hearing about them even though some have been really random.