what it’s like to be a singer.

if you didn’t know, I am a singer and it is great most of the time but sometimes, like everything else, it’s not the best thing ever.

i think that if i lost my voice then i would be really lost. singing is like talking for me, it is so natural and such a big part of my life. i feel like i am so lucky that i can at least hold a note.

some people get annoyed at me because i don’t think i am anything special musically but i guess I’m alright because of some of the things i have achieved. i guess what’s important is that I enjoy singing and other people enjoy my singing.

when people find out i am a singer, they usually ask me,

“ooo, when are you going on Xfactor?” 

to that i reply “never.” writing my own music and singing pop music is something i find really difficult and not as enjoyable as some other things. 

i love musical, some of my favourites are ‘Wicked” (of course) ‘Les Miserables’ and ‘Rent.’ the songs are mesmerising because of how they tell a story and are filled with passion and emotion and singing them just makes you feel.. i can’t put it into words really (was tempted to quote Billy Elliot but no.)

people tend to think that the hardest thing about performing is the size of the audience. however, i think large audiences aren’t as bad as they may seem. you’ve probably heard this from every singer you know but i would definitely feel better singing to 1000 people than 1. (which i have to do in my music exams.) i think the hardest audience I’ve ever sang to was at a family party where i sung my grandparent’s favourite song to them and around 50 other relatives.

i have been super lucky because my friends and family are always so supportive and i never know how i can thank them enough for everything they do for me. i know not everyone has family that show the kind of support that i receive and i am so grateful. 

my singing teacher said something to me that sounds strange but is actually so true,

singers die on the inside.

this basically means that if a song is really difficult or painful to sing or if you’re having the worst day ever it’s important to remember that when you’re performing, as a singer, you are obliged to look confident and characterise the song and make it look like you’re enjoying yourself and like singing is easy and natural, otherwise it can be hard, as an audience member, to listen. 

in the end, although the business is competitive and tiring and frustrating at times, being able to have a ‘Wicked’ marathon in the car with my Dad is the best thing. Also, singing in the shower without constant complaining. Although, technically you don’t need to be able to sing for either of those things. i guess that I’m just happy that i can make other people happy with something that i find so natural and that is also so rewarding and enjoyable.

Back to school essentials

Okay so everyone is starting back at school and i thought i would use this time to show you some of my “Back to school essentials” I would also like to point out that nothing that i bought for this …

Sleep

so the other day i was almost asleep when some idea hit me. I was at camp so i was in a room with around 19 sleeping people and one question popped into my head. ‘Why do we trust sleep?’ 

this may sound weird but when you actually think about it, sleep is weird. there’s a feeling when you’re half asleep and you can feel yourself drifting off, you feel all heavy and numb. if we didn’t fall asleep every night of our life, i can imagine this would be kind of scary. it’s difficult to describe but when you’re about to fall asleep, just experience that feeling for a second, it is what i would imagine passing out to be like, although i wouldn’t know because i never have. 

although, falling asleep is something that, as a teenager, i can say that i want for most of my day. also, some dreams are so vivid it’s like personalised movies and it’s like watching tv for 9 hours straight without getting a headache afterwards. 

i can’t imagine living in a world without sleeping because it is such a necessity for the way that we live. i’m pretty sure everyone has had that time where they just can’t get to sleep at all and it’s 2am so you don’t want to text anyone because they’d be asleep and you also don’t want to go on your phone because it’d wake you up. you’re too tired to read but your too awake to just sit there and do nothing. it’s probably one of the worst feelings ever to be deprived of something so natural but some people are and i can’t even begin to imagine how hard that would be. 

im also pretty sure everyone has experienced a time where a random thought pops into your head right when you’re about to fall asleep. something you don’t want to forget so you have to get up and grab your phone or root around for a pencil and paper so you can write it down. that’s like what i had the other day in that random thought about sleep. the more i think about it, i can see how sleep could be scary for someone but also how most of the world depends on it.